my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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