I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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