No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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