I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
