I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
