wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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