I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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