okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
