all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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