I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
