I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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