My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
