His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
