So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize