Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
