winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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