I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
