i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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