yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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