Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
