Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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