why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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