yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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