So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
