I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
