If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just googled if crying burns calories
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
