Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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