i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
