Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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