Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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