their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
