"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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