which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
