I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my phone needs a breathalizer
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
