She said her name was "party"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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