eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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