No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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