so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
