Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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