I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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