Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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