whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize