why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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