STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
