I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
