i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
