My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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