I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
