Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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