Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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