Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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