bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
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