I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
