Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
