He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
