And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
