Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
