I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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