my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize