My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
