I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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