You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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