Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
